


Dream Lover

by Mysticmcknight



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:17:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticmcknight/pseuds/Mysticmcknight
Summary: Just how real can dreams be? And how far would one go to keep it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally Written for Doctor Fest many years ago. (Concept of Doctor Fest was to take your favorite Doctor and match them to a randomly assign character) I got Lucky in this draw.

It didn’t matter how many years had passed; the nightmares still came, even all the way out here in the Delta Quadrant. Though the nightmares of Caldik Prime were few and fewer as time went by, they resurfaced every time he had a close call, and today he had a big one. He was piloting the Orion to scan a near by nebula that Voyager had picked up on sensors that may contain a wormhole, but they were not going anywhere due to the engines being off line for some major repairs. Harry and Tuvok were with him and everything seemed to go smoothly. The wormhole was sadly just the beginning of a neutron star about to be born and so Tom Paris was getting the Orion out of there as quickly as possible. No one could have truly predicted that quantum temporal portal would ripple right through them and cause the ship’s systems to go nuts. The ship spun out of control and before they impacted with a near by asteroid, Tom was able to avoid it by releasing some of the oxygen pressure, this caused enough of an inertia to change the shuttles course, but it sent it back into the ripple. 

Quick thinking between Tuvok and Harry got the engines and navigational systems back on line, but while they were in the back of the tiny ship, another wave rocked the front of the shuttle and almost caused Tom to black out from the signal it poured out. But Tom kept it together as Harry and Tuvok got him the control he needed to get the Orion out of danger and back to the safety of Voyager. Though the Captain and the stoic Commander had commended his actions along with Harry and Tuvok for theirs, he still took these close calls personally. So instead of trying to be his typical self, especially when these things happened, he withdrew for a while. Most of his friends knew this and even came to expect it, but this time it was worse. 

So that evening he went to the bar and found a corner and used his ration points and drank alone. He politely turned away anyone who wanted to be friendly, including Harry; he didn’t want to try to explain things, again. //Sheesh! It’s been nearly four years and you think one…just one person on this damn ship could understand! // He thought. //Sometimes I think the Captain understands, but then she just misses the brass ring, like most people. Well, in all fairness, they try, but…they just can’t. // He thought sadly. After only two drinks Tom chose to return to his quarters knowing that if sleep came, it would not be pleasant, it couldn’t possibly be…he messed up and so he had to face things…alone, and again. 

****************

 

It didn’t matter that it was out of his control, that he wasn’t in anyway able to prevent the incident from occurring, what mattered was people died and it was his fault. If only he had acted quicker, or thought of different methods in which he could have acted…if he…was truly good enough, then he could have saved them. But the truth was he wasn’t, and deep down he knew it. 

He tossed and turned, sleep was avoiding him as his mind recalled the day’s events. He was doing his job when all hell broke loose. He went from healing a minor cut to scrambling to get his medical kit as the Defiant’s klaxon sounded. The vessel was shaking violently and emergency calls were coming from all over the ship. He reached his kit when a call came from the bridge stating there were crewmen down and the Captain was injured. He ran for the lift and jumped in and called for the bridge. He was almost there when the ship rocked violently again and the lift stopped and the lights went out. He tried his com badge, but there was no response, he was stuck. Then another shockwave hit and he felt nauseous by whatever wave rippled through his body. It took him a few minutes to gather himself and make his way to the emergency hatch and started climbing up to the bridge. By the time he got there, two of the five people injured were dead…and it was his fault. 

He thought he used every trick in the book to revive them, but those of his medical staff finally convinced him that they had been dead far too long for any of the modern methods to be any use. This meant that they died because he, Dr. Julian Bashir got sick in the turbolift instead of forcing his way up the ladder to do his job. He was a healer and death his enemy and though he saved five critical and helped care for thirty-five people, he lost two…two that didn’t have to die, in his mind anyway. Those who knew him understood he took every loss personally and would withdraw for a while. Sometimes his friends could help, but most times they just gave him space to deal with it as they did tonight. 

He had gone to Quarks for a drink and found a quiet corner to think of things, //No one understands me, // he thought. // They don’t understand that I should be better, smarter, and faster…damn it! I was designed that way…I should be able too! Its bad enough that I’m a living freak, but I can’t even live up to what I was made to do, // he chided himself. He kindly denied any conversation that came his way and then after a couple of drinks decided to turn in for the night and make pretense of getting some sleep. He knew sleep would avoid him for a while then his body would rest, but his mind would recall the situation over and over again until he worked out the answer of how things should have gone. Then he’d ask the lost for their forgiveness for his failure, then morning would come and by the next night it would start all over again until he felt that the dead were able to forgive him enough to let him sleep in peace. 

 

******************

 

The shuttle was out of control, he shouldn’t have tried that stupid maneuver and now they were heading right for the sun and it was all his fault. He had to pull the ship out of this dead spin or they would be dead. As sparks flew around him he maneuvered his hands across the console. In his dreams he was always older, for he knew better and felt he could some how stop things from happening, but things were still going the same way they always did. There were explosions all around him and screams from the others that were with him. He forced the shuttle to respond to him and by some miracle he avoided the sun, but the ship was still out of control, but at least it wasn’t going to burn up, just crash on a near by plant’s moon. 

**************

The ship was rocking violently, the call came from the bridge that crewmen were down and he ran for lift. He was in the lift as the ship rocked violently again and it came to an abrupt stop and the lights went out. This time instead of reaching for his com badge he tried to maneuver the emergency hatch, but he knew in this dream it wouldn’t budge, in fact his movements slowed down to a crawl, as if time itself was he enemy too. He started to shout for help, but he knew he’d be too late. 

******************

They were heading for the moon and he couldn’t stop it. He hit every button on his console and nothing seemed to work, they were going to crash and people were going to die and it was going to be his fault. Then something caught his attention, a new sound that he never heard before. It was a shout, but not the same scream for help that he always heard. No, this one was different and it was saying to let it out before it was too late. 

Tom looked at his console and he knew what going to occur, it always did, so he decided to go with the new punishment his mind was dealing him and go check out the voice, it couldn’t get any worse…could it? He got up from his seat and moved quickly to the back of the shuttle, ignoring the bleeding people around him, he couldn’t help them, no matter what he did. He was surprised when he reached the back of the tiny vessel to see a set of turbolift doors and the cry for help was coming from with in. He used his strength to push them open and saw the lift was stuck and someone was trying to get out. He reached down and pulled the emergency hatch open and looked into the face of a beautiful dark eyed dark haired stranger. He offered a hand to help them up. 

***************  
He knew no one would or could hear him shout, but he felt the need to do so, to do something. So it came to a complete and utter shock to see the emergency hatch pulled open and the beautiful blue eyed blond staring down at him in surprise. The tall slim man in a red command uniform offered him a hand up, which he promptly took and climbed up. He was startled by the compactness of the area he was now in, but hearing the cries and shouts of pain quickly took over any thoughts of concern and he pushed by the handsome blond toward the injured. He was quite amazed to see that it wasn’t the bridge of the Defiant, and there was more injured than he recognized. He did a quick scan with his eyes and saw that the two he knew he had to save first, really did appear the worst of the lot, so he went to work and was thrilled to see he was no longer too late. 

**************

Seeing the tall dark golden beauty was definitely a new twist to his nightmare, but as usual Tom just went a long with things, what else could he do? Seeing the blue medical uniform was unusual, but no more than suddenly having a lift on a shuttle. When the dark beauty rushed by him to aid the wounded, Tom followed and was amazed. 

Though they were still heading for the moon, out of control, the shuttle looked bigger, for it had two additional injured people that the apparent medic, he was way too young to be more, was tending too. For some reason it became more important that he not let this young man die so he ran back to his seat and tried again to stop the inevitable. But nothing he was trying seemed to help stop them from coming in too fast. 

“Does this ships electrical field still function?” came the sultry voice from Behind Tom.

Tom looked to see the young man moving to the other injured in the ship and stabilizing them, for he too was a medic, though a low level one. The question was odd to say the least, “Yeah, but I think our predicament is quite shocking enough,” he quipped poorly. “Just for the record yes, and very little else,” he added. 

Julian got the two worst cases stable and he quickly checked on the rest and saw they need minimal to become stable, but he was skilled enough as a pilot to see they were going to crash on the moon if they didn’t pull up or slow down soon. He saw the blond struggle and was amazed that they were still in one piece as it was. Then he saw the moon and since he was near the sensor console saw its readings. “If you reconfigure the electrical field harmonics to 3.2 and release some of the ionized gas forward, it will become a negative polarized magnetic field around the shuttle, same as the moon,” he shouted. 

Tom’s brow furred, and was about to snap a comment off when the light of what was being said to him hit him. “You’re a fucking genius!” he shouted. “Basic science, opposite magnetic forces attract as similar repel, that’s it!” he finished as he followed the suggestion that was given and checked out his sensors and saw the moon did indeed have a heavy negative magnetic force to it. “It won’t stop us, but it’ll slow us down enough so I can land this crate,” he replied, the first time ever in his dream with real hope. 

Julian moved into the co-pilots seat. “I’ve got everyone stable as I can until we can get them to an infirmary, two of them are going to need surgery,” he stated as he helped in the quick conversion of the ships electrical defense field, (used to repel land creatures if the shuttle is attacked without doing serious danger) to a magnetic field. “I can release the gas when you’re ready,” he replied. 

Tom saw that he had only minutes left, realizing he didn’t have this much time to act before, but shrugged it off. “Now,” he said. He watched the gas blow out from the front vent and saw the sensor readings change as the field became magnetic and then he felt the moons push, it was enough to slow them down. He made that shuttle move though it felt dead and this time, for the first time, landed it in one piece. He was so happy he literally jumped for joy. “Hot damn, we did it!” he shouted. 

“You mean you did it,” Julian smiled. “I can’t believe you moved this flying death trap the way you did,” he said astonished. He was moving to go check on his patient when a pair of arms wrapped around him and hugged him tightly, and for a few moments didn’t mind, and even returned it. “You’re welcome,” he replied as the blond thanked him for the idea. “But I should be checking on my patients, and if you can get a signal out, perhaps we can affect a rescue,” he said cheerfully. 

“No problem,” Tom replied happily, as he felt that this time around people would live. “Though they look in desperate need of a doctor,” he added, now serious. 

Julian smiled, “I am a doctor,” he said as he pulled out the rest of his medical kit and went to work on the wounded. 

Tom raised a brow, //strange, but leave it to me to add not only a handsome face, but also an intelligent one to my dream, // he mused. Then he took care of the emergency distress beacon for nothing else was working. “I’m a level 4 medic,” he said as he grabbed the first aid kit from under the seat. 

“A man of many talents,” Julian smiled. “Well then, here is the bone knitter, you can start on her ribs first, though this guy’s worse, I’m going to have to do some emergency internal repairs,” he stated professionally and went back to work. 

Tom watched the young doctor as he mended what he could and was amazed at what this guy could do with a medical kit and a standard first aid kit. “I’m not sure how you got here, but these guys are damn lucky. I’ve never seen anyone able to do what you just did!” he exclaimed in awe. 

Julian blushed, “Well, I’m not sure how either, but it wouldn’t have matter one Iota if you didn’t posses the best damn skills of a pilot I’ve ever seen. You made this ship dance when I though for sure it was a corps,” he chimed back, with an even warmer smile. //I wish this wasn’t a dream, he seems so…real and alive, // Julian smiled to himself. 

//Oh heavens! He seems so…real, different! I don’t know where my subconscious dug him up from, I just hope it keeps him around for a while, // he though warmly to himself. 

After the two men had everyone stable they sat back on their heels and eyed each other, then after a strained awkward moment laughed. “Any sign of a rescue yet?’ Julian asked, though his face glowed from the release he felt from the laughter. 

Tom moved and checked the sensors, but they were barely functioning. “Yea, they should be here in about…fifteen minutes,” he replied. Then he turned around and met Julian in the middle of the ship as he noticed things start to fade around the edges, //Damn, must be time to wake up, // he thought. “Again, I don’t know where you came from, but thank you…”

“Julian,” he smiled. //Damn, it must be time to wake up, just when things could start to get interesting, // he mused. //Hey, Jules! You’re in the midst of wounded on a damaged shuttle and your thinking of how cute this guy is? // Julian laughed to himself, “And you would be?” he asked calmly. //Yes, that’s exactly what I’m thinking, // he admitted to himself.

“Ah, Tom,” he smiled back, equally as warm. //I can’t believe how deep his eyes look. Or his lips… Come on Tom, you’re in the middle of your worst nightmare and your thinking how beautiful this guy is? // Tom laughed to himself. //Yep! // He replied to himself. 

“Well, Tom. Thank you. I have a feeling its time for me to wake up soon,” Julian replied with a bit of disappointment, for he wanted to know more about this beautiful apparition. 

Tom laughed, “I was going to say the same thing,” he mused. “Thank you, Julian,” he replied more softly. Then seeing the light, he started to move away from the young man toward the light that was the front of the shuttle. “Bye,” he said with a slight wave. 

Julian seeing his cue moved to the light where the trubolift was, “Your welcome, and thanks too.” As he got to the light he turned, //I know I’m not that out going as people think, but damn! This is my dream and I can end it anyway I want, // he concluded as he moved back toward the center of the shuttle. 

Tom had waved and was just about to move through, //What am I doing! This is my dream and for once I have a golden…hehhe, a real golden opportunity here, I’ll be damned to not take a small advantage of it, // his mind protested as he turned quickly and headed back to the center of the shuttle. 

The two men had made their decision about the same time and so met each other in the middle of the vanishing ship. Not a word was spoken as blue eyes locked with deep brown then the two wrapped their arms around each other and let their lips kiss in a deep passionate embrace. They both closed their eyes and let their hands pull themselves closer, as their tongues danced wildly to taste the other, and soft moans escaped from their throats. The desperate need for air, even in this dream world, forced them to break the kiss. 

“Wow!” Tom breathed his blue eyes now black from arousal from the one electrifying and intense kiss, stared amazed at the dark beauty before him. 

“I can say the same,” Julian huffed with a smile. It felt so good so natural to be in this man’s arms and so he hugged Tom, but noticed the ship was vanishing quickly and their time was very short. He leaned back, “I hope to see you in my dreams again, Tom,” he purred.

“I do too Doctor…Julian,” he joked. Just then the light was surrounding them. 

“Bashir, Julian Bashir,” he said as the light surrounding him too. 

“Paris…” 

All was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry waited for his best friend to straggle in late for breakfast, hoping this wouldn’t make both of them late for their shift. But he knew how down Tom had been last night and wasn’t sure how bad of a mood to expect him to be in; so seeing Tom walking in with a bounce in his step and whistling was not on the agenda. He did a double take to make sure he was seeing Tom and when the vibrant smile of his best friend reached him, he knew it was Tom, but now was awfully puzzled. He waited till Tom joined him. “What gives?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” Tom asked lightly as he took a generous gulp of his morning coffee. 

“Oh, only that last night you were in the dregs and you usually take about two to three days to snap out of it, but this morning…well…your in a good mood?” he finished. 

Tom grinned. “Let’s just say that what started out to be a nightmare ended…beautifully,” he said, almost giving off the famous romantic sigh. Though his blue eyes sparkled in thought of the kiss and the beautiful, sensuous genius that was for sure going to be his dream lover. //it’s my dream, I sure hope I can conjure him up again, // Tom thought and then blinked realizing Harry was talking to him. “Hmm?”

“I said, I’m glad to hear it and you can tell me about it later, if we leave now we still may make it on time,” Harry rattled off as he got up and moved quickly in hopes not to be late. 

Tom got up and followed suit, with a gut feeling that it was going to be a good day, as he whistled his way to work. 

 

**********************

Julian walked into the morning briefing room holding a hot cup of coffee and a huge smile on his face. He sat down quietly as his mind wondered to the dream he had last night, //Those sky blue eyes, those luscious lips and the feel of him…// 

“Julian,” Dax giggled. 

Julian looked toward his friend and realized she had been talking to him. He gave a shy smile, "Sorry, Jadzia. Still not awake yet,” he replied. 

“Well, at least I can tell you slept well,” Dax replied teasingly as she sat down next to him. 

“Oh, how’s that?” Julian asked warmly. 

“By the huge grin and distant look on your face,” she teased. “Must have been some dream or did someone get lucky last night?” she asked, and then gave the shy young man a nudge. 

“Jadzia!” he exclaimed. “You know me better than that. I know what people say about me, but ‘we’ know, or so I thought, that I’m not like that. In fact, my…not being like that was what caused Leeta to leave me, well, part of it,” Julian said awkwardly. 

Jadzia laughed. “Oh, Julian. You know I’m teasing you so you don’t need to be so defensive. But you could share…I mean if it was that good?” she teased again. 

Fortunately Captain Sisko walked in and started the meeting, which Julian heard about half of it, for his mind was either going back to the dream or forward in hopes of another encounter with the spirited blond. //Tom. Tom? He said Paris, ah, // he laughed to himself, // he must be from Paris…though Tom Paris isn’t a bad name, // he mused quietly, and then wondered why the name seemed a tad familiar. He quickly let that thought go, as reality demanded its due and his attention for the rest of the day. 

***************

Tom was dressed in his dark blue button down shirt and tight jeans and was bending over to take his final shot, the one that would give him the pool tournament championship when he stopped. He looked up and saw his dream man Julian, dressed in tight black slacks and a white pocket T-shirt, step in the quaint French bar. Since it was his dream he could hold the championship anywhere and this was his favorite place in the world, so Sardinians was it. In the beginning he had hoped to see Julian show up, just like Ricki the holographic girl he sometimes dreamed about, but he wasn’t around and so went onward and just about to win when his attention was taken. 

Julian was wondering the streets of Paris and felt like a drink, hoping that he could find Tom Paris in Paris. It made perfect sense in a dream and entered in a bar that seemed familiar, but he could have sworn this bar was not in Paris, but somewhere else in France. He should know for his ex-ballerina was French and he had spent a good amount of time in France, and he was sure he knew this place. He walked in and saw that a good portion of the bar had been altered to be a pool hall, formal for a tournament. Then his eyes locked on the blond he was hoping to find, in the middle about to take his final shot. He looked and saw the score and knew enough about the game to know if Tom made the shot he’d win the game. He saw Tom stop and stare at him and couldn’t help feel a blush come to his cheeks, and was pleased that Tom’s creamy fair skin was blushing too. “Didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said softly. 

“You not disturbing me,” Tom replied with a large smile. “I was just about to make this…somewhat complex shot and win the championship,” he grinned. 

//I guess for some it could be complex, // Julian thought as he calculated the shot, and then grinned himself. “I’m sure you’ll do fine,” he replied. 

Tom got a mischievous look in his eyes. “Perhaps a little something for good luck?” he asked as he let his brows dance up and down. 

Julian laughed, //it’s my dream, why not just let things happen, // he thought, knowing in the real world he was far too insecure to let most relationships get too physical, despite what his reputation was. It only went to show that people thought what they wanted, and Julian just let them, but when the women that wanted this type of man found out he was more old fashion than some of the women themselves were, they didn’t stick around long. Julian believed that sex was part of a relationship and not taken lightly, but again, this was only a dream. He moved up and around the table and took Tom’s face in both his hands and kissed him so hard and thoroughly that both their lips were slightly bruised and swollen. “There,” he huffed, “that should do for a small sample,” he teased softly. 

Tom’s mind was a pure buzz of joy from the hard passionate kiss. “Sample?” he asked as he blinked into the warm, huge loving smile Julian was wearing. “Sheesh! I can’t wait to find out what the whole package is like if that’s only a sample,” he teased. 

Julian laughed, as did Tom. Then feeling that it was okay to relax himself, for this was his dream lover, and they would have a relationship, this he knew, he could ease quickly into his role as lover. “Well, that is….‘If’ you make this shot,” he teased and feeling sexy under the sky blue eyes that was watching him, allowed himself a slight sway in his walk. 

Tom swallowed hard. //Talking about sudden pressure to perform! // He suddenly exclaimed to himself. //I win, I get a reward…hmmm and what a reward! But if I…// he turned his attentions back on the table. There wouldn’t be any negative thoughts, for he was going to win this championship and then win his lover…oh yeah! Thirty seconds later he did just that, as he turned to see the clapping and some one handing him the trophy. He took it and then with grace moved to sit next to Julian who was sitting on a barstool. “So…I won,” he said slyly. 

Julian grinned, “Seems so,” he said as coolly as possible, though the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his face was anything but cool. 

Tom put the trophy down and reached for Julian, putting his hands around the slim waist then pulling the handsome doctor to him and helped him sit on Paris’ lap. “You very beautiful,” he whispered in Julian’s ear as he gave it a soft kiss and slight nibble. 

Julian laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around the strong slim shoulders and let his hands move up and caress the soft blond curls. “You should look in the mirror, you’re pretty wonderful to look at too,” he teased, then arched his head back as Tom’s mouth placed soft wet kisses on his neck. “Hmmm,” he purred. Then he shifted position enough so he could capture that hot mouth with his own. Tom’s lips burned his own in an exquisite searing kiss. A lick from Julian’s tongue and he gained entrance into the hot moist opening and tasted the deep succulent juice that was all Tom Paris. 

Tom ran his hands all along the tight slender body on his lap then back down to caress the strong muscular slim thighs he was holding. He felt so hard he wanted to take Julian here and now and didn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t. He raised his hands to the soft white shirt and started to remove it slowly, letting his fingers caress and burn on the heated flesh beneath them. Then the shirt was fully off and he could run his hand freely on the sculptured chest and play with the dark nipples that were instantly hard to his touch. He rubbed them and teased them as he heard moans of pleasure from Julian, each sound a reflection of how he felt touching this hot sensuous golden body. There was something about Julian that not only enflamed his body but his soul and he wanted to merge with it. 

Julian felt the delicate strong hand caress him, explore him and claim him. He never believed he could feel this wanted by anyone in such a short time, but in Tom’s arms, his body so close and full of desire, filled Julian in a way he couldn’t explain but knew was right. He would give himself to this man fully, in a way he never gave of himself before. He let Tom strip him of his shirt, even if in the back of his mind he was in a bar, but he didn’t care so long as he was with Tom. He reached up and started to undue the blue shirt Tom was wearing and let his mouth slid down his creamy neck and placed hot warm kisses, then further down so his mouth tasted and licked all the new flesh that was being exposed for him. He shifted position again so he could have better access to kissing and licking Tom’s chest and suck passionately on his pink perky nipples as the blue shirt went sailing across the floor. Each time he touched them he heard Tom moan and felt Tom’s hands grab his body wanting them to be closer. 

All of a sudden Julian and Tom yelped. They were both suddenly freezing and wet. They jumped up and stared first at each other noticing they both were in the same condition then turned to see the bar owner holding a large empty bucket with a wicked grin on her face. 

“Gentlemen,” she said while trying not to laugh. “Either take it to the back or home, but this is a bar not a bordello,” she chuckled. Then she moved back to what she was doing, laughing warmly. 

Tom may have been redder due to his fair skin, but Julian was equal in his embarrassment for the patrons were all giggling, though warmly. Neither of them seemed inclined to say anything for a long moment. 

“I can’t believe I got busted in my own dream!” Tom exclaimed with frustration and confusion. 

“Your dream?” Julian laughed, believing that his dream lover was suddenly adding a new twist to things. “Okay. But I can’t believe it either. The first time I let my self go in…well, way too long and I embarrass the hell out of my self…in a dream no less,” he stated. 

The two of them looked at each other, first confused, then taking in how the other looked, soaking wet and half undressed in the middle of a bar and started laughing, hard. “So, back room or your place,” Tom teased while laughing. 

Julian was grinning ear to ear. “How about we get dried off and take a walk. Then we can talk and see how things…develop from there,” he replied warmly, though his eyes were dreamy at the idea of being with the beautiful blond. 

Tom thought about this a second and quickly agreed. Fortunately since their shirts were else where, they were dry as they both went to the rest room and dried off, and then donning their shirts exited out of the bar to the city of Paris. 

Tom looked around as the two men started walking down the street hand in hand. Then he looked as saw the bar and then a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower. “Wait a second. This bar is not in Paris, it’s suppose to be…” then he remembered it was a dream. “Never mind,” he smiled. 

The two of them walked and talked and found that they could easily share what was inside and the other understood completely. Though they had moments where they seemed to find it strange that the one knew of some things in the others life and not everything…as a dream lover should. But they took this all in stride and enjoyed each other’s company. Though they ducked in the shadows off an on to kiss and hold each other, they would soon move back to the lights of Paris and share any and everything that was inside of them 

Soon the sun was setting and they realized they spent the whole day talking, laughing and getting to know each other. Tom noticed that since they left the bar they had been either holding hands are his arm around Julian’s waist. He felt so close to this man; he got a strong feeling that he must be nuts, for he knew he was falling in love…with a dream. 

//Well, they always said that most genetic enhanced people have mental flaws, // Julian thought to himself. //I’d never guess mine was to fall in love with a dream I made up in my head, // he smiled lovingly as he looked at Tom. 

“What?” Tom asked amused by the glow in Julian’s dark eyes. 

“Tom…it’s…well…you’re so real. I’ve never dreamed so intensely before, and I never felt so…connected as I do with you,” Julian finally admitted, as his golden cheeks flushed. 

Tom turned to hold Julian and looked deep into those amazingly deep, compassionate, and loving eyes. “I have to say the same,” he said. “I’ve never dreamed that I’d meet anyone like you, much less make you up like this,” he teased. “But you are everything I’ve been seeking, though I can’t explain how I know that…I just do,” he finished, and then leaned in and kissed Julian deeply. 

They broke the kiss and looked deeply and lovingly in each other’s eyes, “Damn,” Tom stated annoyed. “The lights are fading, which means it’s time to get up…and I was about to ask you out for a romantic candle lit dinner by the river,” he mused warmly. 

Julian saw the fading of the dream too. “Well, how about we make it a date for…tomorrow,” he laughed. 

“It’s a date,” Tom chuckled. “Till tomorrow,” Tom said softly, his eyes focusing on Julian’s beautiful face as the scene faded away and then noting. 

“Till tomorrow,” Julian replied, keeping his eyes locked on Tom’s face as all things faded away.


	3. Chapter 3

The second night had been full of talking and romancing, as they took the time to know each other and made another date. The third night, Tom found himself in Paris once again. He promised Julian he'd take him to the river to see the beautiful sunset he so enjoyed himself. He'd been asleep so far for the last two hours when off in the distance he saw who he was waiting for. He looked forward to seeing his dream love all morning and afternoon, so when he finally saw Julian, his heart started beating faster and his pulse quickened.

Julian finally settled himself down for bed, hoping against hope to meet up with his dream love Tom again that night. As he lay down to sleep, he immediately found himself in his dream world. Down by the river he saw Tom smiling and waving him over. Julian walked down the path that suddenly appeared, //I love dreams, // he mused.

He continued his walk until he came upon his beautiful dream love. "Hello again, Tom," he said shyly.

"Hello, Julian. I'm glad to see you made it here," Tom replied warmly.

Julian walked closer to Tom and took his hand into his, "So, this is the river you wanted to show me yesterday?" he asked, feeling giddy.

Tom smiled as he replied, "Yes, it is."

For the next few minutes, they walked hand in hand down the length of the river, when Tom suddenly stopped to look at Julian. "You are very beautiful, you know that?"

Julian smiled shyly at this, "Thank you. You're beautiful too."

At this, Tom released Julian's hand, placing both his hands on Julian's face; he leaned forward and placed a soft feather-like kiss onto his lips. Julian partly closed his eyes as he was kissed. Tom pulled away for a moment and gazed lovingly into Julian's slightly closed eyes. When Julian opened his eyes fully, he saw Tom look at him with such need and passion that he thought his heart would burst in his chest.

Julian blinked back tears of joy as he leaned forward until his lips were almost touching Tom's ear and whispered, "Make love to me, please?"

Tom's pulse raced fast and hard at hearing this beautiful, sexy young man say what he had so hoped to hear. Touching his forehead to Julian's, Tom let out a happy sigh before he answered, "My love, I thought you would never ask." 

Julian let out the tears he had been holding back at Tom's affirmative response. Smiling, Julian brought up his right hand towards Tom's face and searched his eyes for any doubt that may have been there. When he didn't see any, he softly stroked his dream love's cheek, and then leaned forward to kiss his love delicately.

Tom returned the kiss with all the love and compassion he felt for the younger man. Their soft kissing began to turn into a more passionate one. Tom took his hands away from Julian's face, only to place them onto his back, holding him as if in a hug. Feeling Tom's hands move to his back, Julian walked forward into Tom's embrace until he was chest to chest with his love. He brought his own hands up to caress Tom's back as they continued their passionate kissing.

Julian opened his mouth a bit more to get all of Tom's warm moist tongue inside. At this, Tom darted his tongue inside, caressing and softly sucking on Julian's own tongue. Julian moaned his pleasure lightly into Tom's mouth. Tom sighed happily into Julian's mouth as the kissing continued on. They stayed that way until a throat clearing brought them back to their senses.

"Excuse me, gentlemen,” a security guard began, standing a few feet away from the two lovers. They turned their heads towards the voice and both blushed in their embarrassment at being caught. The security guard continued, "Can I see your ID’s please?" Tom and Julian looked puzzled then instinctively searched their pockets and found wallets. The guard took them and looked at them and then at the two young men and gave a small grin, “since you live not far from here, perhaps you should go home,” he said, then handed them back their ID’s. After saying his peace, the security guard turned around and left, leaving two very embarrassed young men behind him.

Tom was the first one to recover as he looked at his ID and Julian’s and saw they had the same address and he knew where it was, "Shall we?" He asked smiling lovingly at Julian.

Taking Tom's hand into his, Julian glanced at Tom, "Defiantly," he sighed happily, not caring about the turn of events in this dream.

**********

They walked hand in hand for awhile until they came upon the cottage. Tom walked up testing the door to see if it was open and found it was. Opening the door, Tom gestured grandly to Julian, "After you, love."

Julian nodded and walked past Tom. Tom followed him inside. The only thing inside the cottage was a large queen sized bed in the master bedroom, the rest of the place was empty but full of possibilities. They both smiled at this and walked over to the bed. "I wish we had some music to go along with this," Julian said as suddenly a slightly upbeat yet romantic song began to float through the cottage.

Tom smiled as he recognized the song and the singer. "I absolutely love this song," he stated as he walked towards Julian, taking him in his arms in the same way as they had been by the river. 

“I do too,” Julian smiled shyly, for he knew the words by heart. 

{From the coast of Ipanema, to the island of Capri.  
All the way to Kuala Lumpar, I will follow you wherever  
you may be.}

Gazing deeply into Julian's eyes once more, he leaned his head down, renewing their kissing. Julian gave in to the feeling of being in his dream lover's arms. They continued their passion filled kiss as Tom moved his hands from Julian's back to his chest. Julian was wearing a soft, silky, dark blue button down shirt and black silk pants. Tom was wearing a light blue polo shirt and tan shorts. 

{From the moment I first saw you, knew my heart could not  
be free. Have to hold you in my arms now. There can never  
be another for me.}

Tom moved his hands up and down Julian's chest, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure. Never once breaking contact between their two lips, Julian followed Tom's cue as he too moved his hands to Tom's chest. As Tom moved his hands upwards, he slowly began to unbutton the buttons on Julian's shirt.

Once Tom had all the buttons undone, he slipped the shirt off of Julian's shoulders, letting it fall gracefully to the floor. Julian had a harder time at it, he had to pull Tom's shirt off over his head. Not wanting to break up the kiss, but needing to remove it from Tom, with a sigh he stepped back for a minute and pulled the shirt up over his lover's head and threw it towards his right away from the bed.

{All I need is the rhythm divine, lost in the music, your heart  
will be mine. All I need is to look in your eyes, viva la musica,  
say you'll be mine.}

Having removed the shirt from Tom, Julian moved forward once again and came back to where he left off with the sensual kissing. Their tongues kept pace with the music playing in the background. Unconsciously, they began to sway with the beat of the music, as they continued to kiss one another.

Having been freed of each other's shirts, Tom moved his hands sensuously up and down Julian's chest, feeling the heat on his skin was very arousing for Tom. He continued his exploration of his lover's chest, rubbing his hands over Julian's nipples, feeling them harden under his delicate touch. 

Julian let out a moan of pleasure as he felt Tom's hands smooth over his nipples. They were so hard, he felt like they'd be able to punch a whole in titanium. Julian was becoming hard with Tom's hands moving and exploring throughout his body. His whole body was tingling with sensory overload as Tom moved his hands to his back and once again to his chest. Julian copied Tom move for move, rubbing his hands on Tom's chest, feeling the warm heat on his skin. His unique smell, //Uh, I wish this wasn't a dream,// he thought to himself as he heard a moan of ecstasy coming from Tom.

{Can you feel the heat of passion? Can you taste our  
love's sweet wine? Join the dance and let it happen, put  
tomorrow's cares right out of your mind.}

Still kissing Julian, Tom moved his hands down to his lover's pants fastener and slowly began undoing the button. When he finally got the button undone, he pulled the zipper down. Taking hold of the waistband, he broke the kiss, which elicited a moan of loss from Julian and pulled the pants down until they were hanging around Julian's feet. Getting back up from his crouch, he placed his mouth back onto his dream lover's lips. 

Julian let out a sigh on his lover's lips when he made contact with them again. Moving his hands to Tom's shoulders to keep his balance, he kicked his pants off from his feet, where they landed in a pile nearby with their shirts. He then moved his hands down Tom's shoulders, making their way to his pants fastener. He did the same to Tom's pants, wishing he didn't have to break their kiss as he pulled his lover's pants sensuously down his thighs until they too pooled at his feet. As he got back up, Tom also kicked his pants off his feet to the side.

{As the music draws you closer and you fall under my spell, I  
will catch you in my arms now. Where the night will take us no  
one can tell.}

As they continued to sway to the beat of the music, they finally broke their long passion filled kiss. Smiling, Tom gazed into his lover's eyes, "Let's take this to the bed."

Julian smiled back at Tom, "My thoughts exactly." They both let go of each other and crawled onto the bed.

As they lay on the bed facing each other, Tom let his hand trail up and down Julian's bare body. Julian shivered under his lover's touch. It was soft as a feather's touch, yet it felt like liquid fire was coursing through his veins. Julian softly moaned as the touching continued. Julian lifted his own hand and reciprocated every touch back onto Tom. Enticing a few moans of his own from Tom.

Tom loved hearing Julian's soft sensuous sounds as he continued his exploring of his lover's body. As he let his hand drift down towards Julian's bulging erection, he left his hand there and began stroking his dream lover's hard shaft through the thin fabric of his underwear. He was pleased to hear Julian gasp in excitement and arousal. This made his own throbbing erection beg for attention. He was shocked out of his daydreams, when he felt Julian move his hand to his own erection and mimic him stroke for stroke.

{All I need is the rhythm divine, lost in the music, your heart will  
be mine. All I need is to look in your eyes, viva la musica, say  
you'll be mine.}

Julian was pleased to hear Tom gasp and groan when he began rubbing his lover's own bulge. He continued his assault on Tom, thriving on the sounds of pleasure he elicited from him. Suddenly, he felt Tom's hand move up to his hip where the waistband of his underwear was. He thought he would come just from that action alone when he then felt Tom start pulling the waistband down his hip.

Tom decided that he'd had enough of the feel of fabric and moved his hand to slowly pull Julian's underwear down. As he got it half way down one side of his lover's hip, Julian lifted his body up off the bed so Tom could finish with his mission. With the help of Julian, Tom got the underwear completely off and threw it onto the floor with the rest of their clothes.

Having been freed of his underwear, Julian broke the silence, "You seem to be over dressed," he whispered into his dream lover's ear. 

Tom grinned, "I'd have to agree. What do you think I should do about it?" He asked with a leer.

Julian snorted lightly as he put action to words. He moved his hand to Tom's hip and proceeded to mimic exactly what his lover had done to him. Tom lifted himself off the bed also so Julian could remove his underwear. Both men having been freed of their last bit of clothing, moved closer to each other as they went back to their slow passionate kissing.

{Gotta have this feeling forever, gotta live this moment together.  
Nothing else matters just you and the night.} 

Wanting to feel his lover, Tom softly placed his hand onto Julian's weeping erection. He felt ready to come when he heard his lover gasp at his soft touch. Tom began to slowly pump Julian's hard cock, moving his hand up and down as he paused briefly to run his thumb over the head, smearing his love's precum all over.

When Julian felt Tom's hand descend onto his cock, it was the most sensual experience he ever imagined. He had lovers touch him this way, but none had turned him on as much as Tom was. For a brief moment, he thought he would come all over Tom's hand, but he willed himself to restrain it as much as possible so he could fully enjoy the feeling.

Tom continued his stroking of Julian's erection, loving every sound that escaped his beautiful mouth. When Julian moved his hand to do the same, Tom pulled back, "Not yet, baby. I want to pleasure you first. I'll get mine soon enough."

Julian smiled shyly and whispered, "We need lubricant." At this, a tube of lube slid out from under a pillow. Looking down, both burst out in a hail of giggles. "I love dreams," Julian stated still giggling.

{Follow on the wings of desire, now the rhythm's taking you higher,  
no one can stop us from having it all. You are my heart, you are  
my soul.}

"And I love you,” Tom stated, making Julian smile.

"I love you too,” Julian replied back as he gave Tom a kiss. 

Tom rolled over and onto Julian. He began grinding himself into his lover, eliciting more gasps and groans. As he was doing this, Tom leaned his head down next to Julian's ear and whispered, "I want to fuck you now. Would you like me too?" 

When Julian heard this, he softly moaned out, "Yes, please."

This was all the motivation Tom needed to hear. He reached his hand out to his right, searching for the tube of lubricant. When he found it at last, he squeezed a generous amount onto his hand and with his knees, spread Julian's legs apart. He then moved his hand down towards Julian's tight opening and slowly inserted a finger, gently twisting and turning it. 

As Tom inserted his finger into Julian, Julian gasped with need and willed himself to relax. He relished in the exquisite torture that Tom was bestowing upon him. After a few minutes, he felt his lover remove his finger which made him moan in emptiness, only to feel two fingers enter him. Julian bucked his hips up into this second intruder, wishing with all his might that Tom would hurry with the preparations.

"Shhh, easy baby. I have to prepare you first. I don't want to hurt you," Tom said as he inserted a third finger into his lover's waiting body. He knew his lover was just a dream image, but he still didn't want to cause him any pain due to being unprepared. It just made it all feel more real this way.

As the third finger entered his tight opening, Julian let out a loud and passion filled moan. //Oh, heavens, that feels good!// he thought when suddenly Tom pushed his fingers farther in and hit his prostate with the tips of them. "Yes! More Tom, please!" He shouted happily.

{All I need is the rhythm divine, lost in the music, your heart  
will be mine. All I need is to look in your eyes, viva la musica,  
say you'll be mine.}

Smiling, Tom reluctantly removed his fingers, reached over to grab the lube once again and squeezing some more onto his hand, began coating his erection until it was slick. When Julian started to turn over onto his stomach, Tom stopped him with his hand, "No baby. I want to see you as I fuck you."

Hearing Tom say this, Julian felt his whole body tingle with desire. "Whatever you say, love," he replied as he opened his legs wider. 

Tom positioned himself above Julian, grabbed his legs and placed them onto his shoulders. He then positioned his cock at the entrance of his lover and started to slowly push his way in.

{Ooh, all I need is the rhythm divine lost in the music, your heart  
will be mine. All I need is to look in your eyes, viva la musica,  
say you'll be mine.}

Taking it painfully slow, Tom pushed his cock into the tight heat until the head of it was inside of his dream lover. Stopping to let Julian get used to the feeling, he then started to slowly push his way further in until his entire length was engulfed in wonderful heat. Tom had to stop a moment or he would come just from the exquisite feel of being surrounded.

Julian moaned deep in his throat when he felt Tom completely fill him. It was such a wonderful experience, he felt like he would come at just seeing Tom lying over him panting and sweating. Pushing his ass towards Tom, "Please, love. Fuck me now. I want to feel you pumping in and out of me."

Tom almost lost it by then, hearing Julian begging to be fucked. He started to slowly move in and out of Julian, only to hear his lover gasp, on the brink of tears, telling him to pick up the pace. Which he willingly did.

{Can you feel the rhythm? Can you feel the rhythm? Can you  
feel the rhythm, burning, it's burning. Can you feel the rhythm?  
Can you feel the rhythm? Can you feel the rhythm, burning, it's  
burning.} 

"Harder, love...harder. Please...love...I want to...feel you moving...harder,” Julian gasped out as Tom picked up the pace and began to pound into his love with gusto. 

"Do...you like...this?" Tom panted out as he continued to thrust wildly into Julian. 

Julian moved his hands from the bed sheets to Tom's neck, holding on for dear life as he was being pounded into. He brought Tom's head down to give him a passionate kiss and let out a wail of pleasure when Tom hit his prostate. Breathing heavily, he thought he'd pass out with all the delicious sensations coursing through his body. 

In a half push up like position over Julian, Tom moved his hand down to Julian's hard weeping erection and began pumping it in sync with his thrusts, making Julian cry out in pleasure. 

When Tom took hold of his erection and began pumping it in time with his thrusts, Julian was trying to fight off his own climax to make their lovemaking last longer. 

Tom continued to pump and fuck Julian into the mattress, "Come...for me,...baby. Come...for me,” he panted in between thrusts.

Hearing this, Julian cried out as he came like he had never had before, shooting his seed all over Tom's hand and his chest. His climax moved all throughout his body, milking Tom's own erection. 

Tom cried out his own orgasm, spilling his seed into Julian's hot willing body. He slowly pumped a few more times into Julian then his arms gave out and he collapsed onto Julian's still form. 

{Can you feel the rhythm? Can you feel the rhythm?  
Can you feel the rhythm, burning, it's burning. Can you feel the  
rhythm? Can you feel the rhythm? Can you feel the rhythm,  
burning, it's burning.}

After a few minutes, both men came to. Smiling, Tom leaned down and kissed Julian passionately. When his cock slipped out of Julian, Julian groaned its loss. Sweaty and out of breath, "Well, I'll never be able to hear that song in the same way again,” Tom said and this made Julian giggle.

"No, I suppose it'll never be the same for either of us," Julian replied, still laughing light heartily. 

Tom fell to the side of Julian, "I take it you liked it," he said as he propped himself on his elbow and looked down at his lover.

Sighing, "Oh, yes. Very much so,” he then turned on his side and gave Tom another kiss. Snuggling, both men closed their eyes and woke up in their perspective places. 

************

Tom sat up in bed and felt sticky. He got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, humming his dream song as he went about his daily routine.

************

Julian woke up feeling refreshed and happy. He couldn't wait until later tonight to see his dream lover once again. He got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to clean himself off and start another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is mine though to help spice it up, Christine a.k.a. QsMistress wrote a hot love scene, and the song is by Enrique Iglesias 'Rhythm Divine', the rest is all mine.


	4. Chapter 4

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked Julian as he watched the young doctor enter the small cottage that somehow became their home in Paris France over the last two months. Tom could see that Julian was up set and was about to raise himself from the sofa when his love raced into his arms and started to cry, though he could feel there was a problem long before Julian arrived. He sobbed so hard that Tom felt his own tears start to flow for his love’s pain was so deep it wrenched his own soul as well. After the sobbing had decreased, “Love, what’s wrong?” he asked softly. 

“She’s gone,” he sobbed. “She’s dead…I…I tried,’ he sobbed some more. 

“Who’s gone, love?” he asked while soothing Julian’s back. He was greeted with tear stained dark eyes that looked like he lost his best friend, and then it hit him. “Jadzia?” he asked in hopes that he was wrong. Though Tom believed that all the characters that Julian discussed but Tom never saw, were still just a part of his dream world, but they were real enough to Julian and some how became real enough to himself. During the many meetings over the many months that Julian had sprung up in his dream world, they had come very close and Julian came with an entire past, filled with horrors, deep seeded secrets, pain, angst, hope, and a present family made of the station personnel on DS9. Tom felt that his mind chose DS9 for it was the last station he had been on, but still there were times, like now, that all this…well, Julian, seemed very real indeed. 

He saw more tears fall from Julian’s eyes as he reached up and wiped some of them away. Seeing the pain and sorrow he knew he was right, and though in the back of his mind he told himself to dream it all okay, he knew for some reason that he couldn’t. “What happened?”

Through tears and sobs, Julian told Tom about Dukat and Jadzia, and barley able to save the symbiot, but Jadzia was dead…he had failed her. “I…I couldn’t think…I…”

“Stop that, Julian!” Tom said firmly with love and concern. “You did all you could. You know that anyone else would have lost the Dax symbiot as well, but you…YOU, prevented that from happening. You did NOT put the phaser in Dukat’s hands. You did not pull the trigger, and you did not fail her,” he insisted. He understood Julian very much for on this level they were much the same and it was one of many things that made the bond between them so strong, so personal, and so deep. “I’m sorry Death won, but it didn’t have the perfect score it could have had if you hadn’t been there and you know it, she knows it,” he finally said and hugged his love tightly. He knew that Julian would and needed to grieve, but he’d be there for his friend and lover the entire time, no matter if he had to force himself to stay a sleep. 

The end result was by the time Julian was well enough to be left along; Tom woke up and found Commander Chakotay and security at the foot of his bed, the Commander ready to beam Tom to sickbay. Tom didn't say a word and let the doctor check him out. He said that Tom’s blood pressure was up, hell yeah! Tom was afraid that some how they would find out about Julian and force him away…he couldn’t let that happen. Julian needed him, and he needed Julian. In the end, the doctor declared him all right and Tom had to face a twenty-minute lecture about being a responsible officer from Commander Chakotay.

 

*****************  
Tom didn’t mind the teasing that followed him over the last six months. He was happy though he had his moody days, for those nights he couldn’t reach Julian, due to the war the young doctor had said, and the crew was just so damn curious as to who it was that was the cause of his behavior. Tom knew he made a mistake by telling Harry and B’Elanna that he was in love, for he couldn’t tell them with whom and of course they wanted to know, so word hit the gossip line and the teasing started. But he didn’t care. He lived for two things, to fly Voyager and dream…to be with Julian. He was so amazed at how real and in depth Julian was or of the secrets they shared. He was even impressed that Julian was even smarter than he was, //one for the record books, // he teased himself. //My dream lover is three times as smart as I am, // he would chuckle inside, //and ten times as warm, loving and compassionate. Oh, the power of the subconscious! //. 

Tom just decided to clam up on the subject of what was making him so deliriously happy and danced around it whenever it was brought up. The Command staff couldn’t complain, for his performance was way up and he even managed not to get into any trouble for over four of the six months he was now dreaming of Julian. No, they were impressed and wanted to know too, but Tom sidestepped them as well. The last thing he wanted was them to know he suffered badly from a case of wanting to marry his dream lover…no way. Though a part of him knew it was crazy, he feared more that if they found out, they’d give him some medicine and he’d lose Julian forever…he couldn’t bear that, but they were starting to get a bit more…pushy on knowing what was motivating him lately.

Janeway did pull him aside again today and asked why he was spending so little of his free time with his friends like he use too and that she noticed he was going to bed very early but still just managing to show up for shift minutes before he was late. Tom didn’t like to lie, especially to the Captain, but in order to protect Julian he did. He told her that he was getting into self-exploration and was getting into deep mediation, but that it was sometimes draining and he’d whined up asleep. Then he sidestepped her again with his charm and moved on with his day, knowing the Captain wasn’t convinced, but since his duty performance was way up, she had no room to maneuver in, and she had made it a policy not to interfere in personal lives, and this was very personal. 

Janeway had shifted the morning briefing to this afternoon, for they all had been pulling long shifts. Engineering was working on an array idea that might let them contact the Alpha quadrant, but half of the crew was down sick with some sort of virus. The EMH was only able to confirm that only those who had gone down to the last planet suffered from it and that it wasn’t contagious, but he forbid anyone going back down there in concern that others may suffer too. The problem was that sensors didn’t pick up the virus in the first place and even more in detailed readings were getting them no where. 

Janeway had reassigned Seven and all available crew to help the Doctor in finding a cure, for the longer they were fighting this illness, the more likely crew would soon start to die. This had been going on for a week and over the thirty people infected, twelve of them were now in stasis and five where about to have stasis break down, a side affect of the virus. This meant that instead of keeping the person safe until a cure was found, it only slowed it down, they still could die. The stress of the situation was so much that Tom had been talking about it to Julian who took it very seriously and even asked him questions he didn’t quite understand but made a point to find out, since it was important to the young doctor. Last night he and Julian met, made love, made love again, and talked. Julian made him memorize a lot of information as he laughed about taking his free time and researching a make believe illness, but found it strange that he did indeed find it and what he though should be done. 

Tom and Julian still played the running joke that the other was the dream lover and they were the real one, and no matter how strange things got or how real, they never pressed the issue. But they did start taking the other one seriously, so when one hurt, so did the other, for they were most definitely in love. When one discussed a problem, like Julian keeping people out of his files, Tom went to a lot of trouble to write a lock program that only he and Julian could get through. Tom was very happy when Julian reported how effective it was, and that Captain Sisko was impressed, since he was the one tampering around along with the nurses. Julian laughed and showed in a very physical way how grateful he was. So as he listened to the less then hopeful voices he didn’t feel quite as strange about speaking up. 

“Ah, Doctor?” he asked the EMH. 

“Yes, Mr. Paris?” he asked casually. 

“Um, I have something I’d like you and Seven to take a look at,” he said as he down loaded the information he copied down first thing this morning so he wouldn’t forget a thing. 

He watched as Seven and the EMH looked over what Julian said should solve their problem and waited, wondering how insane they were going to think him for this. He noted the surprise in both their faces. //Here we go? // He thought, bracing himself for the mockery. 

“Mr. Paris, where…how…when did you come up with these calculations?” the EMH asked, almost stuttering like a surprised student. 

“Um…last night,” he said softly, feeling a bit uncomfortable and trying not to winch under the gazes he was getting. 

“What is it, Doctor?” Janeway asked. 

Seven spoke, “I do believe that single handedly, Mister Paris has solved our Virus problem, though a practical test will be needed to verify this solution to be true. Though I am amazed that Mister Paris was able to gain such in-depth knowledge of the medical situation at his level of biology and medical background,” he stated. 

“It’s all right here, Captain,” the Doctor exclaimed. “I can’t believe we never saw it, but it’s all here, it all makes sense. Captain permission to try out Mister Paris’s information. If it pans out as it looks here, we could have the crew back up and ready for duty in a week,” he mused with hope. 

Janeway was weary of this, but since nothing else was working, “Very well, but I want a report as soon as possible,” she ordered and then let Seven and the EMH tend to their task. Then she looked over at Tom, “Care to explain the medical miracle?” she asked, a mix between a tease and seriousness.

Tom flushed, “Well…it came to me while I slept,” he said, thinking that part of the truth was better than an outward lie. Tom was floored that this idea might actually work, for Seven was right, he didn’t have this kind of back ground to come up with a cure…but some how…Julian did. 

With in two hours the EMH reported that it was indeed a cure and Tom was thrilled, amazed and puzzled. How did Julian do it? How did he do it if Julian was his creation? But Tom was more relieved that the crew, especially the command staff, was too caught up in celebration of the good news they forgot about Tom’s miracle…but not for long. 

Tom was having lunch when Harry walked up to him and patted him on the back wishing him congratulations on a fine job with helping to finding a cure, for B’Elanna was one of the one’s in stasis, and Harry was totally in love with her. But Tom had had enough of being thanked for something he still felt he didn’t do. “I didn’t do it,” he growled, for Tom didn’t like taking credit for that which was not his. 

“What are you talking about, Tom? I was there at the briefing, I heard you…” Harry was saying.

“Julian came up with the cure not me!” he exclaimed in frustration before he realized what he was saying then his eyes widen in horror at what he just said. “Ah, never mind,” he snapped quickly and tried to move away, but Harry’s hand clamped down on him hard. 

“Run that by me again? Who is Julian?” Harry asked, taken to deep concern by the expression of fear on Tom’s face…fear of discovery. 

“I’ve go to go,” Tom said, trying to move but Harry wouldn’t let him go. 

“Tom?” he asked in that tone that let Paris know he was serious. 

“Look, Ensign, I have to go,” Tom said, trying to pull rank. 

“You can put me on report after you tell me what’s going on and who is Julian?” Harry asked. For he like everyone else, knew everyone else on board, so he thought. 

Tom could see he had slipped and either confess or risk losing his best friend. “All right,” he said as he leaned in real close so only Harry could here him. “But swear, and I do me swear that this conversation stays between you and me, and if you laugh, so help me…” he said, this seriousness clear in his eyes. 

“I swear,” Harry said, now more concerned. 

“Julian is…a …friend…who’s very special to me and very smart. He came up with the cure,” Tom realized he couldn’t say anymore…didn’t even want to try. “And that’s all you need to know,” he said as he pulled his arm away and exited the mess hall. 

Harry made a mental note to track down this Julian, for Harry was concerned to whom was that smart to go so unnoticed on the ship, or it could be an alien messing with his friend. It wasn’t the first time things like that had happened. He was concerned for his dear friend and wasn’t going to let it go until he got to the bottom of it. 

***************  
Julian didn’t mind Miles and Garak harassing him about his mood swings or their attempt to find out who was making him glow. Miles had threaten him and he still kept him in the dark, and was beside himself with personal pride when Elim Garak confessed that even he couldn’t figure this mystery out. After a few months, Julian was glad that his friends decided that they had more important distractions than his love life, like trying to fix him up with the new councilor…Ezri Dax. 

Julian didn’t want a thing to do with her and made it clear after a week that they needed to get a new hobby or a new friend. But all this was minor compared to the on going war with the Dominion. Julian thanked the fates for Tom, even if he wasn’t real…though he wondered why the beautiful blond felt more real than anything he ever experienced before, but fear of figuring it out and losing him made Julian put it aside. He moved through his days with an untouchable anchor and he felt blessed, for those he thought he could look up too, like Sisko, had failed him. Sisko was back and they were all getting ready to depart on a mission, but Sisko had gone back to earth, leaving Julian to deal with Jadzia’s death alone…in the real world, thank heavens for Tom

The mission was going well and then the ship was attacked. Once again Julian was called to the bridge for numerous medical emergencies. He arrived and went to work doing triage and sending those in order to sickbay and stabilizing those he could until they could be taken to sickbay. The Dominion was hitting the Defiant hard as the ship shuttered and rolled from the impact. 

Sisko had given his orders and those of the crew left on the bride. They did their best to carry them out. They were successful in destroying the single Jem Hadar ship that was left, but the explosion of that vessel damaged the Defiant and hit the bridge section hard. If Julian hadn’t been toward the back and crouched down between a couple of patients he’d been just as injured as the rest of the crew. 

It was dark except for the lights off the control panels that were still working. Julian pushed himself up and saw everyone was badly hurt and out cold. He noticed a chunk of the ship’s hull was missing and thanked the fates again that the emergency shielding worked. He also noticed that the ship was spiraling out of control toward Bajor. He cried out to see if anyone was awake beside himself as he moved toward the pilot seat that sadly was now empty, a victim of the hull breech. No one answered him as he took a seat and tried to get the ship under control, but the standard training he had didn’t seem to be of any use here, he couldn’t get the ship to respond properly. “Bridge to engineering” he yelled over his com badge, but no answer. “Bride to anyone!” he shouted, but still no answer. He saw what was happening, panic filled him. He didn’t want these people to die, nor anyone on Bajor, but he couldn’t set the self-destruct himself and he couldn’t handle the controls…//OH HEAVEN’S TOM I WISH YOU WERE HERE! //

************ 

Tom was in Sandrine’ s. Having a drink with B’Elanna and the Delaney twins, avoiding Harry’s prying eyes. He knew his best friend was going to be a pest about his little news, but he had hoped with some time he’d just forget it. He was concerned when Harry joined them tonight, but after a couple of drinks and jokes, all was forgotten. Then the girls left and Harry and Tom were left alone to discuss them. 

“So, have you asked her out yet?” Tom asked Harry, who he knew was in love with B’Elanna but way too insecure about it. He felt that if he kept it up he’d pressure his young friend into it. 

“No, Tom I haven’t, for I’m still breathing aren’t I?” Harry stated with a light chuckle to cover up a real fear that, which just may be the case if he did approach B’Elanna and she didn’t want him too. “Besides, I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” he added.

“Come on Har, you know your crazy about her. Shit, don’t you know that it’s Klingon tradition for the male to quote things like poetry and all that sweet stuff and the woman throws things at him and tries to fight him…unless she doesn’t like the guy, then she ignores him,” Tom smirked. 

“Really?” Harry asked. 

“Really, beside…” Tom’s voice trailed. His eyes widened with fear and concern, “Julian!” he cried in concern to himself, not caring about his surroundings. 

Harry looked at his friend puzzled, “What about him?” he asked. 

“I’m here, Love, don’t’ panic. Yes, I can see, just hang on,” Tom was saying though his eyes were unfocused as he seemed to be looking past everything and looking at something else. 

Harry tried several times to get Tom’s attention and failed. He was debating to contact the EMH as he listened to Tom’s strange one-sided conversation. 

“Okay, sweetheart…take a deep breath and listen. Your going to have to by pass the stabilizers, they’re obviously not working right. Now…yes that’s it, you got it. Now transfer the extra power to the right…yes, because it’s the strongest and can take the extra pressure you’re going to be giving it. Yes, that’s it. I’m here baby, just breath, your doing fine,” Tom said, though he himself had started to sweat with serious concern. 

Harry did contact someone, he turned to see Janeway and called her over and told her what they were talking about and then pointed to Paris as he was sitting there, talking to no one about some kind of emergency. Janeway moved over with Harry and also tried to talk to Tom and got no response. 

“Okay, now that’s done, turn off the good engine and brace your self, the lack of power will force you into a reversal spin, and when I say turn back on the good one to counter the spin. You can do it, I know you can, you have to try Julian…trust me!” he exclaimed. 

Janeway looked at Harry, and he was so concerned about Tom he confessed their last conversation about Julian being the one who discovered the cure. Janeway mused that Tom must be in some telepathic link with some one and was strongly annoyed that he didn’t report it. She contacted Tuvok. 

“Yes! That’s it. Now alternate…yes…now faster…see you’re stopping the spin…Excellent,” he grinned. “Alright, now we have to get you stable. Yes use the…shit! It’s out. Okay, don’t panic, I’m with you,” Tom encouraged again. “How fast can you convert the power cells? Yes…if you can do it fast enough…I know, but this isn’t a time to think like that…Julian, Damn it! Push your self…yes…yes you can, now start alternating them…” Tom looked stricken with fear, the intensity in his face all too real. The sweat had tripled and his hands had rubbed the glass in his hands until they were raw. He was also holding his breath. “Yes!” he shouted in glee. “You did it! Ah, I knew you could,” he replied warmly. 

Tuvok had entered in and watched the latter part of the exchange and looked at the Captain, “I’ve reached out and…there does seem to be some sort of connection, but it is not a typical telepathic link. I’m not even a hundred percent sure from simple observation that it’s not all occurring from within Mr. Paris’s head. I’d need to investigate this more.”

Janeway was watching the exchange, and by the vast amount of emotion she was witnessing on Tom’s face, and the dialogue she was hearing, she was convinced that, at least to Tom it was a piloting crisis, and Julian was obviously someone or something of great importance, from the looks of concern and the terms of endearment that Tom was using. 

“Okay, okay, you did great. Now see that large asteroid? Yes, use its gravity to keep you stable until repairs or help arrive…okay?” Tom said, a small smile on his face as his eyes took on a deep loving look. “That’s it,” he sighed in relief. “I don’t either, but I’m glad all worked out…yes…yes, do what you got to do, yes…I love you too,” then after what seemed to be a long intense stare, Tom blinked and shook his head and was stunned by the three faces who were staring at him. //Shit! Did that really happen while I was a wake? //

“Tom, I do think you owe me an explanation,” Janeway stated with her arms crossed her chest, though she was concerned. 

Tom looked from her to Tuvok and Harry. By the look in his friend’s face…guilt, he’d spilled the beans, “Um…” he gave a weary smile for he didn’t know what to say. 

 

************** (End part 4)

Julian hadn’t slept in over 48 hrs, for there were so many injured on the Defiant and he was the only one capable until help arrived, then he ignored the other Doctors and made sure to save as many of the injured crew and friends as he could. Though there was still death, the numbers were so much lower compared to what it could have been. 

He did have time to patch himself up a bit and wash most of the blood off while on the Enterprise as he was called up to the Captain's office. He reported to see Captain Sisko, still in need of rest by his thoughts, and Captain Picard, and an Admiral that looked somewhat familiar.   
“Sir’s,” he said properly. 

“Doctor Bashir, I presume,” the Admiral said as he stood to greet the young doctor and shook his hand. “I’m told you’re quite the hero,” he said warmly. 

“Me, sir?” Julian said, not understanding. 

“Doctor, forgive me,” Picard said with a smile. “This is Admiral Pairs, and Captain Sisko has just been informing us how you managed to single handedly save the Defiant from crashing on Bajor. Very impressive,” Picard said with pride. 

“I must agree, Doctor Bashir. Very impressive indeed. Why I haven’t seen such flying since…” Admiral Paris grew a bit distant. “Since my son,” he replied with some pride. “Please have a seat,” he said. 

Picard being a good host, “Care for anything to drink, Doctor?” 

“Um…no thank you,” he said to nervous to drink anything. 

“Ben, Owen?” Picard asked.

//Owen! Owen Paris? That’s the name of Tom’s father? Could I have…? But I didn’t know anything about Tom before… Yet he was there on the bridge, I wasn’t asleep… // “Sir, your son…he’s a…good pilot, sir?” Julian asked, not sure how to broach the subject, for he wanted to know about his son and what the coincidence was. 

“Tom was a great pilot,” Owen said softly, then took a deep breath as if making a resolve. “Sadly he was lost with all the hands of the Voyager in the badlands,” Owen replied as he took his drink from Picard as did Ben. No one saw the paled look that filled Julian’s face hearing just how real the turn of events were sounding from his dream lover. //Could it…? // Julian just couldn’t think straight, this was just too much. 

“Julian, I want to say how proud of you I am,” Sisko was saying, his eyes beaming with pride and gratitude. “You saved us all,” he added. 

“You want to tell us about it?” Owen asked. 

Julian thought about it, he couldn’t tell them that Tom…a dream lover, called Tom Paris of all people talked him through it. Fortunately he yawned, “excuse me, sir” he said between another yawn.

“When was the last time you slept Doctor?” Owen asked with concern. 

“I think just before we left for the mission,” Julian said honestly. 

“That was two days ago!” Sisko responded in annoyed concerned. 

“Then forget the tale and I hereby order you off duty for the next two days to rest up,” Owen said. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty to keep you busy soon enough,” he said seeing the look on the young doctor’s face. He stood up so Julian could as determined by protocol, and shook the young man’s hand again. “I know there’s been a lot of…crap,” he said, more than comfortable with the word, but trying to maintain some dignity, “About your past, Doctor. But I’ve read your file and even without this up coming commendation, your one hell of an officer, Doctor. If anyone decides to give you any problems about your enhancements again, know for a fact you can count me in on your side,” he said. 

Julian looked in the eyes of the man that supposedly made Tom’s life a living hell and saw…regret, sorrow, and a strange understanding. “Thank you, sir,” he said softly. 

“That goes for me too,” Picard added. 

“Julian,” Sisko said, and waited for the young man to look at him. “Go to bed,” he smiled. 

Julian again gave his thanks and went to his quarters, but instead of sleep he accessed the computer for all the information about one Tom Pairs. 

 

*****************

“Well?” Janeway asked of the EMH.

The Doctor having finished his scans of Tom Paris looked over his result and then to the Captain. “He does show signs of high sensitivity in the areas of his brain that would leave him…vulnerable to a telepathic connection and the area responsible for the state of sleep known as REM is also heightened. But this sensitivity is of no danger to Mr. Paris or his ability to function. As for his…friend in the dream being an alien? I don’t detected anything to that nature, Captain” 

Janeway looked at a very quite Tom Paris, who was sitting on the bed very nervous. “Thank you, Doctor,” she said in her dismissing tone. As soon as the EMH was gone, “Tom, are you sure…” she didn’t know what to say. Tom had confessed about his dreams and Julian, and how it was the young dream doctor that came up for the cure of the virus. He also informed her that today was the first time they ever…ever made any form of contact that seemed real, such as the dreams were, while he wasn’t asleep. 

Tuvok walked in to see Janeway staring at Tom, lost for words. “Captain,” he said. He stood next to her. 

“You find anything?” she asked. 

“I have not detected any outside influences, however, I did do a personnel search and found something of interest,” he replied as he handed her a PADD. 

Tom looked up to see if he could catch what was on the PADD that Tuvok had handed the Captain who was looking at it and raised her brow much like Tuvok. Then she looked up toward Tom, “What?” he asked in concern. 

“Well, it could be either a coincidence or your subconscious remembering names of the past,” she said dryly. “But there was, at least, a Doctor Julian Bashir assigned as Chief Medical Officer of DS9, which fits the description you gave us, from what we can tell. You know our Starfleet personnel records are old,” she said. 

Tom wasn’t sure how to take that bit of new. //Could Julian be real? No…how? // “So, your saying that I must have read that information somehow and just processed it to my brain?” he asked, wondering if that was the case. Though he was still more concerned that they would do something to stop the dreams. Though he wasn’t too crazy about the incident in the bar, he rather take all the shit anyone would give him, even the Captain, then loss that special bond with Julian…real or imaginary. 

“Doctor,” Janeway stated so the EMH knew he could come back in the room. She waited silently, “What do you recommend?” she asked. “His…all too real dream diversion could be…a serious problem if it happened on the bridge, I can’t have that.”

“I can give Mr. Paris a neuro suppressant that most likely be affective, however, I would recommend that Mr. Paris sleep here a few more nights so I can observe this state of dreaming he has been mentioning before I can draw any further conclusion,” the Doctor said flatly. “For according to Mr. Paris, he has not had any connection…dream, where he meets this…Julian in the last two days.” 

“No,” Tom said, the fear of losing Julian to a…a shot of medicine was all too real, he knew he couldn’t let it happen, that’s why he was silent in the first place. 

Janeway looked at Tom in disbelief. Here Tom was informed that either an alien that they can’t detect or some sort of brain aversion may be influencing him and her Chief pilot was denying treatment? “Tom?”

“No, no…neuro anything,” he replied with conviction. “Look, I don’t’ know what happened a few days ago, but it’s not something that’s ever happen before. Julian was in trouble…” he let his voice trail, hearing how he sounded and the look on the Captain’s face. //Of course they think you crazy. Perhaps you are…but nothing has made you so happy as Julian…not even flying! No! I can’t let them take him away. // “I know how it sounds, but can it be all that bad?” he asked, changing tactics. 

Janeway and Tuvok did a mimic of each other as they raised their brow in question of what Tom was saying. The Captain spoke, “Tom? You’re being affected…”

Tom cut her off, “Perhaps yes, perhaps no,” he said smoothly. “But you have to admit my bridge performance is way up, you said so your self,” he continued. “You asked me once what was making me so happy, but at the same time why I was turning in early and getting up late, well…now you know. I’m sure I can control…”

This time Janeway cut of Tom. She was stunned at first at seeing the young man verbally battle to keep his condition. “Tom, this situation is unacceptable. You either submit to the Doctor’s treatment or…or I’ll have no choice but to temporarily suspend you from duty until medically fit for it,” she said. She didn’t like it, but…as she said, this was unacceptable. 

Tom saw how serious the Captain was and he knew he had to make a choice. Julian or flying? //Shit this is unfair! // He thought. He thought about it and looked the Captain in the eye, “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Betaheart’s a good pilot,” he replied as he laid back on the biobed and stared at the ceiling. 

The three, including the EMH were stunned by Tom’s decision. “Very well,” she said as calmly as she could and moved with Tuvok and the Doctor toward the exit. She turned to the Doctor and Tuvok, “find out what’s going on,” she ordered. “I want you to get to the bottom of this and I want my Chief pilot back, understand?” she stated, for it wasn’t a question. Then she left to inform Mr. Betaheart of his new duties…for a while. 

***************

He was stunned. Everything that Tom had told him about the accident, prison and more was coming up true as he continued to access the life of Tom Paris. Julian shivered as another fact was discovered. //Tom’s…real? // He thought, not sure of his feelings. A mixture of ecstatic revelation and fear of what could have made such a thing possible, but he had to know more so continued his research. After another hour of work, Julian knew that he couldn’t have made any of this up, it was all real, and from what Tom himself had shared, he knew the truths and the lies that were in the computer’s data banks. “Tom’s real! Oh my word, he’s real and that means…Voyager’s…still out there…alive in the Delta quadrant!” he said amazed to himself. “But do I tell them? How do I explain? Better yet, how do I prove it?” Julian asked himself as he laid back on his bed in the quarters assigned to him on the Enterprise. “What if I can’t prove it? Then they’ll make me take a mental exam…and what if they find something? Or nothing?” Julian sat up in his bed filled with fear; “What if they try to do something that would take Tom away from me?” his breath was short in coming as he tried to calm himself to the fear of losing the man he loved. “No, I won’t lose Tom!” he said with conviction. “I’ll see what I can do for Voyager and the others, but I won’t lose Tom, this I swear,” he said to himself as he lay back down and the exhaustion and lack of sleep finally overtook him. 

************

Standing outside the cottage, Julian looked at the place that was their home. What started out to be just an empty building with a bed for making love, had developed into a vibrant living area. It was filled with stuff of their making, since in the dream they had to go and buy all the other furnishings. It was like all the bare basics were provided in this world to get them started, but the rest they had get, earn…take the time to create together. Over the last six to seven months Tom and Julian had done all that, they made their home real and a part of who they both were. 

Julian approached his and Tom’s home and opened the solid oak door and took in the sight of the small garden that now was in bloom that he and Tom had planted, and smiled. //This place is so real and yet not…but Tom ‘is’ real, // he thought with some nervousness. //Why are you upset, Tom knows everything about you and still loves you? // He asked himself. //But I was just a dream to him then, // came his reply as he walked in looking for his love. He walked around the house and called out for Tom and didn’t get an answer. 

Then he moved to the back yard and saw his love sitting on the chair swing, staring at the small creek that flowed through their back yard. He moved out there silently as he walked up to Tom and could see he was very distressed. “Tom?” he said softly as he sat down next to his lover. “Tom, are you all right?”

Tom looked at Julian and smiled, though he didn’t hide the fact that apart of him was hurting. “Now that you’re here, I’ll be fine,” he said as he shifted and curled up into his love’s arms. 

Julian held Tom tightly, “What’s wrong, love?” he asked quietly. 

“They found out,” he replied, his head still on Julian’s shoulder. “They found out about this…I…” he sat up and looked at Julian, his eyes searching and not sure what he was looking for. “I was on the holodeck when…when I heard…saw you were in trouble,” he said, unsure how to approach the subject. 

Julian having spent so much time with Tom could read him like a child’s book. He gave a loving smile, “You saved me, Tom, and the Defiant and Bajor…it…” should he tell him, “It really happened, Tom” he said finally. 

Tom wasn’t sure how to take this. //is this my mind trying to justify my actions? // He thought as he continued to look at Julian. 

Julian could see the thoughts dancing through Tom’s mind. “I know we both tease the other about being the dream lover, but…it turns out we’re both real, Tom. I…I only discovered this when…when I met your father this afternoon,” Julian said, still uncomfortable about this aspect of the situation. 

“Julian…I…” he took a deep breath. “The Captain told me that I only saw your name some time in the personnel files and made the rest up? I…I know you feel so…” Tom felt his body shiver. 

“Tom, I ‘am’ real. I do exist, and now I know you do too. I know that you really are alive and stuck out in the Delta quadrant, but I don’t know how to prove it,” he replied with some concern. 

“Prove it?”

“Well, I’m not about to go and tell people that their loved one’s are alive and stuck out in the Delta quadrant if I can’t prove it, they may…they may try to take you away,” he finally said softly. “I love you, Tom I…I couldn’t bear losing you,” he said as tears of tired frustration filled his eye and he hugged Tom with a strong desperation. “I won’t lose you!”

Tom hugged Julian back with the same desperation, “I don’t know if you are as real as you feel or if I am crazy, but I won’t lose you either!” he said with conviction. “Even if it means that I never fly again.”

Julian eased back from his embrace, but not braking it, “They won’t let you fly?”

“Because they think…” Tom saw the pain in Julian’s eyes. “It’s not your fault, babe,” he said softly. “They gave me a choice, a neuro suppressant and fly or you, so…don’t be upset that I chose you, okay?” he said trying to give his most charming smile to ease his love’s sorrow. 

“Oh, Tom,” he sighed. “I’m sorry this happened, but I can’t be sorry too much. If it wasn’t for you I and thousands of others would have died, you ‘did’ save us. I only wish I could prove to you that ‘I’ am real, for I proved to myself that ‘you’ were.” 

Tom looked at his love, the truth of his beliefs were strong in his eyes, “How?”

“After I met your father I researched everything there was on Tom Paris,” Julian’s eyes grew dark from anger, but not at Tom. “It was unbelievable at some of the lies they had in there,” he snarled, then took a deep breath to ease his anger. 

“You didn’t believe any of it?” Tom asked quietly. 

Julian looked at Tom in surprise, “Why? All we’ve shared has been the truth, why would I believe their lies after knowing the real you?” 

Tom’s eyes lit up, he had shared all there was and if Julian was real, he was the first person to know it all…and still love him. “I…I just wasn’t sure,” he stuttered, a smile reaching his face as well. “No one has ever…and still you love me?”

Julian kissed Tom tenderly. “Do you still love me? What I told you is true too, I’m a…”

“Very loving, compassionate, sexy, smart man, Julian Bashir, and don’t you forget that, for I don’t love anyone but the best,” Tom teased, but with a strong conviction behind it. Seeing the light in Julian’s face brought his own heart such joy that he had to kiss his love again. Then holding him tight, “Then, let us take this as some strange blessing, for I’m real and now…I feel you are too,” he said in a whisper.

The two men held each other in silence, more than content to just be with the other. It was Tom that broke the long silence. “You met my father?” he asked unsure if he wanted to know this. 

“Yes, Tom I did. He’s…changed from what you described of him. I…I saw pain, anguish and sorrow and regret when he talked about you.”

Tom looked at Julian surprised; “He talked about me?”

Julian smiled, “Yes, he told me that he hadn’t seen such miraculous fly since his son, and he was beaming with pride, Tom. Real pride.”

Tom took a moment and studied Julian’s face, and then let out a deep breath, “Really?” he replied unsure but hopeful. 

“Really, Tom,” Julian smiled. “It was him that inspired me to find out all about you,” he grinned. Then he got serious, “I was afraid at first, knowing that you were real…and wondering how…but then I was more afraid of losing you that I don’t really care how this is all possible. I’m just glad I’m not in love with myself,” Julian joked. 

Tom laughed too, “You know, I had those same thoughts, but I couldn’t truly convince myself that I was that smart,” he teased. Then he took a cleansing breath. “I do love you, Julian. I’m not sure how things are going to work out, but…we’ll work it out okay?”

Julian thought for a few moments as he relaxed in Tom’s arms and just let the large chair swing sway back and forth. “Perhaps, if you could tell me something…nice, that only you and your father would know…perhaps,” Julian said softly. 

“You really want and try and prove this?” Tom asked with concern. 

“If I can, than Starfleet and others would know you’re out here, they might be able to help you,” Julian insisted. 

Tom looked at the creek that was bubbling by, “The Alpha quadrant is really at war, isn’t it?” he asked knowing the answer already. 

“Yes.” 

“Then they have enough to deal with…” Tom stated.

“But think about all the other’s who would at lest know that their friends and family are alive,” Julian asked. “I…only thought,”

Tom smiled lovingly at the young doctor at his side, “Of others, as always. You truly are an amazing man, Julian.” Tom let himself be lost for a few moments in his love’s eyes. “Okay, I’ll help you as best I can,” he promised. Then Tom hugged the man he knew was real, the one that some how, he’d share the rest of his life with and felt the fires of love and passion burn with in him.


	5. Chapter 5

Julian was sitting in his infirmary, wishing like hell he kept his big mouth shout, for he was not sitting here as CMO but a patient, for it didn’t seem to matter all the information he provided from Tom, Owen Paris was not buying it and neither was anyone else. Though he was glad he kept the part about him and Tom being lovers to himself, they still were running scans to see if he was…nuts or being influenced in some way. 

Julian had been livid when Owen Paris came to him with sympathy stating that the near accident must have been too much for him. //So much for, “If anyone gives you crap about your enhancements I’ll be there,” shit! // Julian was thinking. They had poked, and probed as much as he would allow them. They found exactly what Tom stated their EMH had found nothing more. They too offered a suppressant and Julian declined it, just like he declined a mind meld…he just felt it would be too much of an invasion of his and Tom’s personal affair. Tom had turned it down for the same reason. //Why can’t they just believe me? I’ve provided information that only those on Voyager could know and still…. Shit! // He was scared, for they tended to forget his sensitive senses, and he overheard the words…clinic. //They better NOT try and send me there. This has nothing to do with my genetic conditioning! // He fumed. 

They had even monitored him while he slept and that proved that his brain did indeed have very high activities levels that could be caused through some kind of link, but still no one was giving him the benefit of the doubt…mostly because Admiral Paris wouldn’t let them. //Tom was right, the man really is a total ass! // He growled to himself. He sat there and contemplated his options. He wouldn’t take the suppressant, which would mean losing Tom, unacceptable and he couldn’t just say it all went a way…they would monitor him, and no matter what they may have wanted, the draw between him and Tom was too strong, they couldn’t stay parted even if they wanted too, so long as they both were asleep. Tom had offered to become an insomniac, but the EMH on his side gave him sedatives and it turned out it didn’t matter if it was normal or induced sleep, they would meet. 

Though meeting wasn’t all bad, they could love and support each other through this harsh time, they were more inclined to argue a bit, for they were always trying to protect the other one until they realized that neither of them was going to let the other one be the scapegoat. There was a brief discussion of ending it by taking the suppressants, but they were both praying that would be last result, for they knew their love was very real and had become the very core of their existence. 

“Were running out of options,” Julian said this night, after being forced into another sleep, after being informed that if he didn’t start cooperating he would go to the clinic. 

“Damn! I knew my father could be a real ass, but Starfleet?” Tom hugged his love tightly. They sat on the sofa they had purchased with the savings they seemed to have. The more they both were in this ‘dream world’ the more real it seemed. They would have to buy food from savings, and deal with people like regular folks. It started to resemble another universe, where he and Julian were provided the opportunity to meet and then given the basics and now it was up to them to keep things up or let them fall apart, just like a real life. Tom and Julian thought it strange when they both got mail, some junk and a few job offers. “I’m starting to wish this ‘was’ the real world, for the one out there sucks!” he growled his anger at seeing Julian’s distress. Then he looked at his love and decided, “Take the suppressant, what ever it takes, Julian. You can’t let them take your life away,” Tom said seriously. 

Julian bolted up and looked at Tom, “But you ‘are’ my life!” he replied with conviction. 

“As you are mine, Julian. But face it. If you don’t do what they want they’ll…they’ll take everything else away from you too. If they do that, you’ll lose your rights and then they’ll make you take the stuff and you’ll not only lose me, but everything else,” Tom pleaded. “I love you, I want to be with you in the worst way…but, I can’t let them do this to you.”

“I won’t do it!” Julian exclaimed in frustrated anger. “I won’t let them win!”

Tom looked defeated, he didn’t know how else to protect his love. “Then I will,” he said softly. 

“No,” Julian cried, the hot tears falling freely down his face. 

“Love, what choice do we really have? It’s not like we can stay here?” Tom replied, his heart breaking. 

Julian was silent for a moment. When he looked up his eyes was full of desperation, “Why not?”

Tom looked at him in surprise; “We only exist here so long as were asleep….”

“Unconscious,” Julian finished. “I’ve read the files even if I’m not supposed too. 

“But…” Tom said but Julian’s fingers stayed his words.

“We’d have to give up our bodies, and I don’t know how much time we’d have…weeks, months, a year maybe…but I could do it, and so could you?” He said in a hushed tone. “I’d rather spend one more day with you than a life time without you,” he whispered with conviction. 

Before Tom could answer, Julian was being taken from him; obviously they were waking him up. He sat there alone in their home and thought about what Julian was proposing, and then he too was taken to the world of the awake. 

****************

 

All hell broke loose on Voyager as they were attacked by some alien or another. All Tom could do was force his presence on the EMH that he was still capable of helping, for the infirmary was receiving heavy casualties. Twenty minutes into the attack one of them was the Captain her self. Tom worked side by side with the EMH and some of the lesser trained medics and got everyone as settled and stable as possible till the Doc could take care of them. 

By late afternoon, Janeway was stable and resting, still not strong enough to pull her usual stunt and make her way out of sickbay. She watched silently from a far all the people that was coming and going and after pangs of regret and anger, she slept. This time when she awoke it was to the sound of pain, anguish. She shifted her head and realized it was Tom and the sick bay looked very dark. She couldn’t do much other than watch…

Tom and the others were doing their jobs and after the a battle, things started to slow down, but then two hours later there was an explosion that rocked the ship. By the feeling of it, it was internal. The lights and all the power in sickbay went out. Then after a few minutes the back up power kicked in but not the EMH. Tom called for assistance in this matter and didn’t get a reply. Then to his horror, the sound of the transporter hit his ears and a very badly wounded Harry now lay before him. He did what he could, but the internal injuries were far too extensive, and though the equipment was up, the Doc was not. 

“Tom to Engineering. The EMH is still down! Harry needs surgery!” he shouted over his com badge. 

B’Elanna’s haggard voice responded, “Tom, that part of the computer was hit bad, but I’ll do what I can. Just keep him alive…please” she said before cutting the transmission. 

Tom knew that Harry and B’Elanna were now lovers and her pain was clear, but as he looked down at his best friend, he was stuck with out options. He checked Harry’s condition, it was too weak for stasis, and he didn’t possess enough skill to do anything more. His eyes filled with tears and he cried, “Harry, you have to hold on! Please,” he begged as Harry’s life signs started to fail. He placed a basic stimulator on his best friend’s heart and lungs to keep them going, but he couldn’t fix the damage. He closed his eyes in grief, “Julian, I need you!” he shouted to himself. “Oh please…please, hear me,” He begged. 

Janeway looked at Tom’s plea and wish like hell she could do more than watch, then she saw the young pilot straighten up as relief filled his face. She watched as Tom had a one sided conversation and was following instructions to some unheard of voice. She watched him use equipment he couldn’t use a few minutes ago, and was preparing Harry for surgery, though he was very nervous. 

She watched Tom perform very skillful surgery, the basics to keep Harry alive, and then patch him back up, and all the time talking and thanking his love…Julian. Janeway didn’t need to be a doctor to know that Tom wasn’t capable of doing what she had witnessed without help…it was the first time she believed that Tom really was talking to someone named Julian who was a doctor. When all was said and done and Harry was stable, she realized she had watched the entire thing and it was very draining for her as she slipped back into her own dream world. 

***************

Tom stormed into the house with excitement. He called out and found Julian in the kitchen, apparently cooking was very relaxing for him, and he was whipping up one of Ben Sisko’s New Orleans gumbo. “They believe me!” he shouted as he ran around the corner in the kitchen and into his love’s arms. 

“Whoa…what?” Julian asked surprised, he had been cooking for he had been forced here for hours and hours. 

“They finally believe me,” He cried. “Apparently the Captain was awake during the situation with Harry the other day and she and the Doc knew I couldn’t have made that up. She’s willing to believe me and work with me…us!” Tom said in a burst of happiness. 

“That’s wonderful, Tom” Julian smiled; though it didn’t reach his eyes. 

Tom then took a moment and realized that though things on his side was going to work out, that didn’t seem to matter far as Julian was concerned. “I’m sorry,” Tom offered. 

Julian gave a low chuckle, “For what?” he asked. “It’s not your fault. I was the one that insisted that I could convince them…your father. I was wrong,” he said matter of fact as he turned to add some more spice into the concoction he was making. 

Tom moved up behind Julian and wrapped his arms around him, “Love?” 

Julian turned his head, the pain and sorrow strong in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Tom. I want to be happy for you, but…” He looked away. “They gave me three days. Either submit or be committed,’ he said quietly. 

“Oh, love,” Tom whispered as he rested his head on Julian’s shoulders. The pain of defeat in his tone as surly as it was in Julian’s eyes. Then he had an idea, “I can ask the Captain, perhaps she…”

Julian turned around and looked at Tom, “It wouldn’t matter, Tom. They don’t want me to be right on this…I know that now.”

“But why?” 

Julian’s eyes misted with tears of frustration, anger, and sorrow. “You won’t like it,” he said quietly. 

“My father,” Tom said dryly. 

“Yes, but there is more. With the information you gave me and the events of Caldik prime you told me about, something didn’t’ fit so I looked into it. That ‘was’ my real mistake. Tom…you didn’t file that false report…you couldn’t have. You had been in surgery for over three hours when the report was filed. I found out it was…”

“My Father?” Tom stated in anger and disbelief. The look in Julian’s face was more than enough to see that it was true. “My own Father?”

“I’m sorry, Tom but it looks like, no matter how he may feel about things now, he doesn’t want you to be real or anyone knowing the truth…it would ruin ‘his’ career.”

“So the bastard is going to ruin your life instead!” Tom growled. “It wasn’t enough that he used and abused me…but…”

Julian caressed Tom’s lips, “That isn’t the problem now, is it? I have three days…I want to know what you have decided?” He asked, caressing his love’s soft skin, looking into the bluest eyes he may never see again. 

Tom steeled himself. “I…need time,” he said softly. 

“You have three days, love. Either way, know that I will ‘always’ love you,” Julian said and placed a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. Then trying to change the mood he took a cleansing breath, “Like gumbo?” he smiled. 

 

****************

Jack and the others stared at the unconscious form of their friend, the one who set Sarina free, and now a prisoner himself. “They said he did it to himself, wouldn’t play ball anymore,” he stated coolly, though inside he was hurting. Julian had been the one who had ‘made it’. To see him here like this was the most crushing thing he and the others had experienced. 

“I heard he did it for love,” the luscious women of the group purred, wishing for the thousandth time that she could get through the barrier and just ‘touch’ the golden body. 

“I don’t see how being like that is going to benefit anyone or anything, much less love,” Jack retorted and then moved away to wonder the pains of the universe that only he could understand. 

“How indeed?” she questioned softly staring at the still form of the once renowned Julian Bashir. 

**********

Janeway was staring out her window; the stars didn’t bring her any comfort this time, only pain. All she saw was the brilliant vibrant face of her Chief Pilot, as his eyes would light up while dancing Voyager through the cosmic stardust ballroom. Then it was quickly replaced with his still form. Self-induced coma is what the EMH had said, and there was apparently nothing they could do. If he didn’t want to come out of it, he wouldn’t, the Doc had told her, and she felt the pain of wishing to the heavens that she had believed him sooner. 

Tom left a note explaining that he couldn’t let Julian be alone and told of all the horrors the other young man was suffering on the other side. She didn’t want to believe that a man she had revered could do such a thing, much less believe that Tom… But Tom was in love and Julian was faced with being committed, so according to Tom, chose to stay in the world where they could be together for however long it was possible. He asked her not to be angry with him, but either way he would be gone from Voyager. It was only a matter of if he’d cross over with or with out Julian. //The act of two stars crossed lovers, // Janeway mused as more tears fell down her face. The memory of placing her young pilot into stasis with little to no hope was overwhelming. But Tuvok did tell her after a desperate mind meld, “where ever his mind is, he is extremely happy,” he had said, but he couldn’t reach Tom directly. There was nothing else they could do. 

But at this moment, six months later, what made it the most painful was that Seven had gotten an array to work and they did contact Starfleet only to find Doctor Julian Bashir was real and in the same condition. Those of his friends were furious and were going to lynch, figuratively speaking, Admiral Paris. But it didn’t matter, no one could reach the two men, where ever they were, their bodies were in stasis, and they were gone. 

“I pray nothing but the best for you both, for you both deserve it” she whispered and let the tears of loss flow.

 


End file.
